"Put on your power necklace and go kick a**."
Such were the instructions from my bff after I confided that I was feeling wholly overwhelmed at times by the abundance of change in my life. Last month was a humdinger for me: a new home I'm still unpacking, new housemate, new fledgling friendships, a 2-year relationship dissolving, and a continuing re-seeding of my art and medicine career. Ripe with potential, a fresh start, new blood, a brave and bold new world. At times I feel like a baby bird that's fallen out of the nest; I see there's a big sky over my head and I don't know quite how to fly yet.
Interestingly --- right before the shifts all started, I found a stunned baby bird in my studio. I had no idea what it meant at the time.
the power necklace: Haida thunderbird
I've been trying for several weeks to manifest a decent piece of writing; it took a while longer to squeeze this one out of the tube. I'm just as fragile and gobsmacked as you are at times by what life shows me.
Today's tarot card was the Sage of Cups: Regenerator. "As a regenerator and revitalizer, you are emotionally creative. Like the life-giving rain, you can transform a barren situation into a garden of emotional delight and abundance. Your inner fountain of youth creates new emotional life and beauty. You are a healer. Like bubbly, playful water, you bring happiness and joy through the restorative power of laughter. Your energy is a medicinal spring that heals the physically sick and the troubled."
You've gotta love the synchronicity of the message above with the new painting I've been working on the last couple weeks. Emerging through my laisse faire ("let it be") method of pouring wet ink and acrylic pigment onto wet canvas, I let it dry, then use oil paint to develop it further. This one also has some collage on it.
above, a mixed media work in progress, Fall 2010, Hannah Albert
So much of life involves jumping into the unknown, so why is it so hard? I've developed techniques in art-making that make it easier to surrender; in fact, it's the one place in life I find it easiest to do so. In fact I think art-making - or any creative work - by it's very nature returns us to the bindi point of infinite possibility on an ongoing basis. During art workshops I use a simple visualization process that helps people who are afraid of making "bad" art - to help them let go of their inhibitions.
I think it goes against human nature to jump off cliffs. We like to be sure of a thing before we go for it. Or at least we like the illusion of being right/ smart/ good/ wise. Rational. Practical. Responsible. Civilized. Some people realize over decades.. after the house fills up with stuff and unhappiness seeps in, that there's more to life. Others go to Burning Man to learn how completely unnatural it is to be programmed for normalcy. Still others look down their noses at risk-takers, hiding behind sheer terror. The ego is a mighty mask-maker isn't it?
In another brilliant moment of synchronicity (which shows up frequently as a sign of being surrendered into the flow of life) here's what I just found the BurningMan theme for 2011: Rites of Passage
"There are moments of crisis and frisson in our lives which inform us that we've somehow crossed an inner threshold and are changed. Thus moving from one state of being into an unknown other is not a facile transformation; it obliges us to face our innermost insecurities, and it requires faith, a willingness to leap off the ladder of ordered existence. Our theme this year invites participants to join with others in creating rites of passage."
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"The challenge is to stay empty so spirit can fill us up," a friend said to me years ago. When we totally let go, then we become filled with the next amazing gift. It really never fails. When was the last time you let go, albeit unhappily, of something near and dear, only for something 100x better showing up on your doorstep? This is something we can practice in all arenas of life.
"It is a spiritual law that when we are ready to transform, transformation will come to us. We are all conduits for a great creative energy that seeks expression in us and through us. When we yearn to be different, it is not just our restless ego. It is our accurate response to the creative energy within us that is seeking a new venue for expression... Just as we get restless to make something new, so too our creator may be restless to make something new from us. As we let go of our ego's demands to be totally in charge, we slip gently and quietly into a series of changes that we may set in motion through our own hand but experience as the hand of the Great Creator working through us."
Julia Cameron
To empty out all of our expectations, let go of fear, and pony up to the unknown takes guts. It takes some quiet alone time. But what's the alternative, really? You can start here. Then go see the Oatmeal for laughs.
***Thank you mystery voters - for nominating me for best "art therapy" blog of 2010! **Coming soon: new Fall Art Workshops